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For his 40th birthday, I had my eye on a vintage watch. Maybe, as a journalist, I can't resist a deadline, or I pity him heading into middle age consigned to sleeping with the same woman (me) for the rest of his life. Indeed, the idea of a threesome is so exotic that for a few weeks, it just sits there. It turns out that all of my girlfriends and practically all the spouses of his friends would potentially make the cut, including the pregnant ones. My husband and his friends can chat over a beer about getting two women into bed. But middle-class straight girls don't tend to compare same-sex fantasies. My husband rejects the idea of a sex club as too public. It would complement his tattered sweaters and declare to the world that he is, in fact, employed. He says that what he really wants isn't a good, but a service: a threesome with me and another woman. And maybe, just maybe, it's because I fancy the idea myself. I occasionally mention the name of a female friend. Although I'm a novice, I'm pretty sure that getting someone we know would be a mistake. And I don't want someone creating a wedge in our cozy twosome. It's hard to know who'd be tempted and who'd be appalled. I rule out advertising online, since that seems like an open call for venereal disease. I make firm eye contact with the woman (who I've figured out is named Emma), act fascinated by her comments on the music, and wait for my window to suggest that she and I meet for lunch. A few days later, we exchange e-mails and make plans to have Thai food. is really quite beautiful, but seeing versions of my own lady parts on her feels vaguely incestuous. By contrast, I find my husband extremely appealing. The question on my husband's birthday is always: What do you get for the man who has nothing?My husband isn't a shopper; he buys food and, lately, diapers.I have a belated feminist revelation: Women don't demand raises and promotions, because we're trained to sit pretty and let someone else chase us. ") We lay down some ground rules for the threesome. I'm tired of putting on makeup every time I go to meet her, and I'm running out of dresses. You need to work out what it is and help her with it." On my way to the third meeting, I decide to loosen up and be less calculating. In my new role as decider, I don't care what anyone thinks of me. It's refreshing to have some time off from wondering whether I look fat. To avoid it getting too thrusty and porn-like, the two of us will be in charge. She and I will go to the small, furnished apartment that he uses as an office, and he'll join us there once we're ready. My husband insists that this is the normal pace of seduction. I tease her about all the planning, telling her that I'm making storyboards and cue cards.

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But — as in many stories I hear — there's an imbalance. " She signs it "N." It may seem imprudent to pledge loyalty to an anonymous, bisexual woman who trolls "no-strings" websites, but I decide on the spot that I won't respond to anyone else. I'm not sure about the exchange deal, but that doesn't seem to be mission-critical for her (although when I read the e-mail to my husband that night, he says, "I'll swap you"). It turns out she's a straight, divorced, disease-free mom in her 40s who claims she was motivated to answer my ad by a kind of sexual altruism. My husband, who spent years of his life addressing this particular challenge, gives me a little pep talk. After about an hour, she takes out her calendar, and we schedule the threesome for a week later, the 20th, over lunchtime.

I'm undaunted, but no closer to finding a candidate. At least a dozen couples are seeking a woman for a threesome. Since I can't compete on looks or age, I decide to distinguish myself by sounding desperate: "I'd like to give my partner his best birthday present ever: an experience with me and another woman. "It's not my neck that's going to be sticking out," I say. Although she's dressed conservatively, I notice that her makeup is fresh. Despite the peculiar circumstances, she's clinging to the conventions of female bonding. She says she's never been with another woman and isn't sure how she'll feel about that.

Fortunately, my husband and I extend the deadline a few weeks past his birthday after realizing that, between work trips and school holidays, we don't actually have time for a threesome until the end of the month.

One of the times I was in a MMF, I was tied to a table and blindfolded and they used me as they pleased.

Therefore I was more in the total sensory zone and not exactly aware of who was cumming when and where.

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